Tuesday, February 4th
So it was Tuesday night and Esther and I were
cleaning the daycare in Montreal. We were filling in at the day cares for our
son-in-law who was somewhere in the Bahamas soaking in the hot sun.
I was in the basement at the far end in one of
the classrooms dry mopping the floor alone. As I swiff in under a table, all of
a sudden there's this kid's voice that comes from under the table that says,
"WELCOME BACK, IT's
YOUR TURN!"
My blood ran cold!
A chill went down my spine! I bent down and looked under the table and there
was Alice!! Sorry Alice, but you scared the bejeepers out of me!!
I don't think Alice
can talk any more!! Hope they don't ever find her batteries!! Oh, and I was
able to find a fresh diaper in the nursery cabinet. It fit kinda tight! The
ones I usually wear are bigger!!
Tuesday, February 11th
So last night I go to the daycare to clean and
I make my way to the far end of the basement. I enter the last room and I look
under the table for Alice. She is not there! I scan the room and then I see
her. She is under one of the child's chairs just staring straight ahead.
She didn't even acknowledge that I was there.
Not a WORD!! I say, "Hi Alice!" Still nothing! I said, "Are you
still mad at me?" Still
nothing!
I explained to her
that she can't be scaring people in the night when people come into her room. I
said, "Sorry, Alice." I think I saw a little tear in her eye.
I turn to leave the
room to go get my mop and just as I walked out through the doorway I heard,
"Meany!!" A chill went down my spine and I ran as fast as I could
down the hall!! I don't know if I can do this until April! Please remember me
in prayer!!
Thursday, February 13th
I suppose most everyone has heard by now that
things did not go to well at the Day Care last night.
We arrived at 6 to start the cleaning. I was reluctant to go down into the basement due to the goings on that have happened the last couple of times down there. You remember Alice…..
I enter the basement knowing that my boss would not be pleased if I just skipped doing the basement. I avoid the long hallway as long as possible until finally, late in the night I have to make my way toward “that room” at the end of the hall.
I open the door. The room is in total darkness. You have to walk into the room to get to the light switch. I hate that part. As I walk into the room, suddenly the door slams shut behind me! Once again, I soil my droors!! Thankfully I have a proper pair of emergency ones on. I turn to grab the door handle and the door is locked tight! My heart pounds and an intense panic began to set in.
Just then the lights come on by themselves and to my astonishment the room is no longer a Day Care room. It has been totally transformed!! There is a desk by the end wall with one empty chair. There are two more small tables each with two child’s chairs a little closer to me, one to the right and one to the left and the rest of the room is full of children’s chairs neatly placed in rows. All the chairs are full of toys (that have eyes) of every kind and size you can think of. Seated at the two desks on the left and the right are three individuals. The desk to the left has one vacant seat.
The room is extremely quiet, except for the sound of a dripping faucet.
Sitting in the chair beside the vacant seat was a Cabbage Patch doll with yellow yarn for hair. She turned to me and beckoned, “Mr. Roach, Come and sit!” As I walk to the front of the room to take my seat I look to the right and seated at the other desk was Alice and Miss Piggy. Alice refused to look at me. But Miss Piggy just glared at me!
We arrived at 6 to start the cleaning. I was reluctant to go down into the basement due to the goings on that have happened the last couple of times down there. You remember Alice…..
I enter the basement knowing that my boss would not be pleased if I just skipped doing the basement. I avoid the long hallway as long as possible until finally, late in the night I have to make my way toward “that room” at the end of the hall.
I open the door. The room is in total darkness. You have to walk into the room to get to the light switch. I hate that part. As I walk into the room, suddenly the door slams shut behind me! Once again, I soil my droors!! Thankfully I have a proper pair of emergency ones on. I turn to grab the door handle and the door is locked tight! My heart pounds and an intense panic began to set in.
Just then the lights come on by themselves and to my astonishment the room is no longer a Day Care room. It has been totally transformed!! There is a desk by the end wall with one empty chair. There are two more small tables each with two child’s chairs a little closer to me, one to the right and one to the left and the rest of the room is full of children’s chairs neatly placed in rows. All the chairs are full of toys (that have eyes) of every kind and size you can think of. Seated at the two desks on the left and the right are three individuals. The desk to the left has one vacant seat.
The room is extremely quiet, except for the sound of a dripping faucet.
Sitting in the chair beside the vacant seat was a Cabbage Patch doll with yellow yarn for hair. She turned to me and beckoned, “Mr. Roach, Come and sit!” As I walk to the front of the room to take my seat I look to the right and seated at the other desk was Alice and Miss Piggy. Alice refused to look at me. But Miss Piggy just glared at me!
The seat I had to sit in was very small. My knees were almost touching my chin. And the table was so short my feet barely went under it.
Once I was seated Ms. Patch whispered to me, “Relax, I’m your appointed Attorney. Just be quiet and let me do the talking.” I nodded. Then she said, “What’s that odor?” I just shrugged my shoulders and put my head down.
Just then G. I. JOE stood to his feet at attention and said, “All rise, Court is now in session, the Honorable Judge Kermit presiding!” I was the only one who stood.
In came a green frog made of felt and stuffed with who knows what. Judge Kermit took the seat at the front desk. To myself I said,” Aw c’mon…KERMIT? A FROG? Really? This can’t be happening!!”
Just then Judge Kermit asked Miss Piggy what are the charges? She replied, “On the 4th of February Mr. Roach stole Alices heart!!” Ms. Cabbage Patch shouted, “Objection Your Honor, that is just hear-say!” Judge Kermit retorted, “Over-ruled! Continue, Miss Piggy!!” “Well, Your Honor, we have an eye-witness and at this time we would like to bring Esther to the stand.”
Suddenly through the door comes Esther and makes her way to the witness stand. I said to Ms. Patch, “I can’t believe this is happening! My own wife is going to testify against me!?” She leaned over to me and whispered, “You can’t trust anyone these days!”
Miss Piggy began, “So on February 4th what exactly did you see, Esther?” She replied, “I saw Mr. Roach rip the batteries out of the chest of Alice! And throw them in the garbage!” Just then Miss Piggy reached into her pink purse and pulled out two double A EverReady batteries and said, “Your Honor I would like to enter “Alice's Heart” as exhibit “A”!!
As I sat there stunned with my knees now touching my chin, I knew I was convicted! There was nothing I could do but wait it out. I’m sure they could hear my sobbing down the hall.
One witness that testified was this large doll only half dressed, with one eye, no arms and only one leg. After some more questioning including 10 more witnesses that testified against me, Judge Kermit said, “This session is adjourned until Saturday when I will make my verdict!”
Now folks I’m not sure what will happen this coming Saturday, But one thing I do know and that is that I’m in deep trouble!! If they send me away, would someone please send me some cookies! My Lawyer says depending on the verdict we will appeal!
Saturday, February
15th
The hallway was lined with many little
strollers, three Barbie Corvettes, and even a Monster Truck. It was an
indication to me that there were many who turned up for my verdict and
sentencing. Sure enough as I enter the court room the place was full, wall to
wall. I had even heard there were some who came from the Laval Day Care to see
the ordeal.
I made my way to my seat beside my Attorney, Ms. C. Patch. She leaned over to me and said, “Everything will be alright.” The shaking in her voice let me know that she didn't have a clue what she was talking about!
At 10 sharp G. I. Joe stood to attention and said, “All rise, Court is now in session, the Honorable Judge Kermit presiding!” Once again I was the only who stood.
Judge Kermit began by saying, “After hearing the testimonies on Thursday regarding the case of Alice vs. Roach, I have come to a decision. But before I give the sentencing, Mr. Roach do you have anything to say for yourself?” I stood and said, Your Honor I plead for the mercies of the court that I be given another chance….” Before I could finish my sentence there were loud BOOOOO’s coming from everyone in the court room! Even the doll with one eye, no arms, and only one leg shouted to the top of her voice, “THROW THE BOOK AT HIM KERMIT!!” Judge Kermit slammed his gavel on his desk and in his frog-like voice shouted, “Order in the Court! Order in the Court!”
I slowly sat down realizing that I was about to be hung.
Judge Kermit then began to give the verdict and sentence. “On charges of ripping the heart out of Alice, I find Mr. Roach guilty as charged and hereby sentence him to 12…….” Before Judge Kermit could finish his sentence there was a very loud crash and the window behind the Judge broke into a million pieces. Everyone gasped as through the window came a flying individual dressed in red head to foot with a large red flowing cape and a bright yellow crest on his chest with a Dark Blue “L” in the center.
It was Super Len!!
He landed right beside me and with his mighty strong arms around my waist he lifted me up out of my chair. Before I could say anything we were flying lightning speed out through the broken window. As we were leaving the room I heard Super Len shout, “Bye, Bye, Alice!! So long, Judge Kermy!! It’s Super Len to the rescue!!”
The next 20 minutes were all a blur! We crossed the Canadian/USA Border and after flying over 9 states and 5000 kms. I found myself sitting under a large pink and yellow parasol in Pasadena, California sipping Iced Tea with my besties, Hunter and Titus!!
We are all in our swimming trunks and this afternoon we are heading to the Pacific to do some radical surfing!!
I’ll see you all in April!!! (Maybe)
As for the Day Care cleaning, I’m handing the job over to Shirley McLean Leiper. Don’t forget to empty the large white garbage container that’s under the “babies changing table” in the basement bathroom! Be careful it’s very heavy and…..it’s toxic!!! And watch out for Alice! She’s nothin' but a whiney trouble-maker!!
Toodle-loooo!!
PS: Some may think that I have embellished a little in this story.......Think what ya will! I'm in Pasadena sittin' in the SUN in my purple Speedos!! HAAAAA!!!!
I made my way to my seat beside my Attorney, Ms. C. Patch. She leaned over to me and said, “Everything will be alright.” The shaking in her voice let me know that she didn't have a clue what she was talking about!
At 10 sharp G. I. Joe stood to attention and said, “All rise, Court is now in session, the Honorable Judge Kermit presiding!” Once again I was the only who stood.
Judge Kermit began by saying, “After hearing the testimonies on Thursday regarding the case of Alice vs. Roach, I have come to a decision. But before I give the sentencing, Mr. Roach do you have anything to say for yourself?” I stood and said, Your Honor I plead for the mercies of the court that I be given another chance….” Before I could finish my sentence there were loud BOOOOO’s coming from everyone in the court room! Even the doll with one eye, no arms, and only one leg shouted to the top of her voice, “THROW THE BOOK AT HIM KERMIT!!” Judge Kermit slammed his gavel on his desk and in his frog-like voice shouted, “Order in the Court! Order in the Court!”
I slowly sat down realizing that I was about to be hung.
Judge Kermit then began to give the verdict and sentence. “On charges of ripping the heart out of Alice, I find Mr. Roach guilty as charged and hereby sentence him to 12…….” Before Judge Kermit could finish his sentence there was a very loud crash and the window behind the Judge broke into a million pieces. Everyone gasped as through the window came a flying individual dressed in red head to foot with a large red flowing cape and a bright yellow crest on his chest with a Dark Blue “L” in the center.
It was Super Len!!
He landed right beside me and with his mighty strong arms around my waist he lifted me up out of my chair. Before I could say anything we were flying lightning speed out through the broken window. As we were leaving the room I heard Super Len shout, “Bye, Bye, Alice!! So long, Judge Kermy!! It’s Super Len to the rescue!!”
The next 20 minutes were all a blur! We crossed the Canadian/USA Border and after flying over 9 states and 5000 kms. I found myself sitting under a large pink and yellow parasol in Pasadena, California sipping Iced Tea with my besties, Hunter and Titus!!
We are all in our swimming trunks and this afternoon we are heading to the Pacific to do some radical surfing!!
I’ll see you all in April!!! (Maybe)
As for the Day Care cleaning, I’m handing the job over to Shirley McLean Leiper. Don’t forget to empty the large white garbage container that’s under the “babies changing table” in the basement bathroom! Be careful it’s very heavy and…..it’s toxic!!! And watch out for Alice! She’s nothin' but a whiney trouble-maker!!
Toodle-loooo!!
PS: Some may think that I have embellished a little in this story.......Think what ya will! I'm in Pasadena sittin' in the SUN in my purple Speedos!! HAAAAA!!!!
